Tactical Espionage Pony

The pony crawled under the searchlights, desperately trying to avoid being spotted. This was her only shot at redemption; the mission depended on her success and she couldn't let the Mayor down. The wall in front of her had to be at least ten ponies high, nearly impossible for any normal earth pony to scale.

Thankfully, Pinkie Pie was no normal earth pony.

The pink pony pulled a rope from her balloon marked saddlebag and, thanks to Applejack's lasso lessons, tied a lariat knot with the fiber. She griped the excess rope in her jaw and with a simple swing of her head, the loop spun in the air above her and shot up the wall, disappearing against the night sky as it sailed over the structure. When the rope didn't fall, she pulled on her end, tightening the loop around whatever it had looped around.

"Boy," the mare said to herself in the darkness, "I sure hope that didn't loop around anypony."

The earth pony approached wall, gripping the rope in her front hooves and pulling her back hooves onto the wall, she began scaling the flat surface at a brisk pace. She pulled herself onto the roof, taking the time to note that her lasso had secured itself on a chimney.

It was here that the mayor's most prized possession was taken; a most sacred relic given to her by Princess Celestia herself.

And Pinkie Pie was determined to get it back no matter the cost.

---

Pinkie Pie creeped along the first corridor, her ears turning to every little sound she heard. She approached a corner to her left, the growing sound of hooves clopping on the wooden floor breaking the silence. The pink pony twisted around and dove into her saddlebags, emerging a second later with an odd little device that displayed the outline of a white box with a hole on the top and six blue cones, two on each side of the box except the bottom where there was only a green dot.

"Hmm, two little guards on each side." The mare giggled, "this'll be a piece of cake."

She pulled out a small fashion mirror and angled it around the edge: just like her little radar described, two guard unicorn ponies clopped up and down the hall in opposite directions. Dressed in green and black bodysuits and faces covered with a black ski-mask, they marched up and down the hall with a thousand yard stare. The two stallion guards passed each other at the middle, one headed towards the corner the pink mare was concealed behind.

The guard's ears perked at the sound of shuffling around the corner ahead, hollow sounds where there should be silence. "Huh? What was that noise?" The guard slowly rounded the corner expecting to find an intruder and ready to fire an immobilizing spell. But the magical glow around his horn faded when he saw the hallway occupied by nothing more than a cardboard box.

The guard eyed the box for a moment, trying to determine if it was a delivery of some kind or a distraction. Either way, it needed to move. The magical aura on his horn appeared again, slowly lifting the box off the ground revealing the empty space it had just concealed. "Hmm, just an empty box." The unicorn smashed the container flat and tossed it off to the side.

Pinkie Pie, lasso clenched tight in her mouth as she dangled from the lights suspended above, watched the guard continue down the hall. She let go of the rope, allowing herself to fall to the ground below, stopping an inch from the wooden floor before safely and quietly landing and rounding the corner, the second guard stallion's flank toward her as he started clopping down the hall.

Reaching into her saddlebags a second time, the mare retrieved a slingshot and a number of rock pellets. She loaded the first pellet into the sling and pulled it taught, aiming towards the lights on the ceiling.

THWIP! The first light flashed bright and extinguished. No pony seemed to notice or care.

THWIP! The second light was extinguished. THWIP! And the third. Soon, half the hallway was shrouded in darkness with nopony none the wiser. It gave Pinkie the perfect opportunity, and she took it. On the wall in the middle of the hall was the destination, a door leading to the interior room. The pink pony slipped inside the door, pushing in the lock as she closed it behind her.

The room was nearly empty, devoid of guards, detection spells, or any other kind of precaution. In the middle of the room stood a single pedestal basking in the light that bounced off the white walls, a single wrapped package resting on it, as big as a cake. Pinkie Pie popped up on the pedestal, taking a look at the brown parcel before somehow stashing it away in her saddlebags.

---

"It was easy!" Pinkie laughed back at Sugarcube Corner, her mouth full of cupcake. "I mean, those guard ponies must be loco in the coco." She relented her daring tale to her five friends at the celebratory Post-Heist-A-Rare-And-Valuable-Package Party.

"So what was it anyway?" A white unicorn asked the question on everypony's mind.

"Well, listen closely and you'll find out," Pinkie's expression turned as serious as she could manage as she began the story. "Thousands of years ago, when ponies had just started ruling over Equestria, there was a little war brewing between the ponies and the griffons. See, the ponies wanted to be friends with the griffons, but the griffons were all like, 'We don't want to be friends with weak little ponies, we just want to steal all your food!' So the ponies came up with a plan and mixed up a tray of food to give the griffons. There were all sorts of yummy foods on it: cupcakes, pies, daisy sandwiches, zucchini tacos, all kinds of foods. But the griffons didn't like the tacos because they all had guacamole on them."

"Pinkie," Twilight Sparkle sighed, "is any of this going anywhere?"

"Of course it is, silly. The griffons hated guacamole, so they turned around and went back to Griffonland! And because that guacamole brought peace to Equestria, it was preserved for ages as a legend!"

Twilight's face twisted in confusion, "Griffonland? What?"

"Behold! The Holy Guacamole!" Pinkie lifted up an empty glass bowl, traces of green gunk still dotted the inside. "What?! What happened to the Holy Guacamole!"

The silence that filled the room for a moment was broken by the sound of Applejack handing over ten bits to Rainbow Dash, the former with an annoyed look on her face. They both looked down at Spike the Dragon laying on the ground, proudly picking his teeth with his claws.

"Wow, I can't believe you ate all of that guacamole!" Applejack said, obviously impressed.